something to hold onto
by teddylupin-snape
Summary: George is struggling to come to terms with a life without Fred / George-centric postwar, light GeorgeSeamus


The war has finally ended.

It's ended, it's over. And now you're more alone than ever.

You can't remember the last time your eyes were dry and you're a sniffling mess. People would say that you're justified in this, that you shouldn't be expected to hold yourself together after such a loss. Losing a twin brother, that gives you plenty of right to fall apart. But you wish you weren't.

You wish you could hold your head up and crack a joke, for Fred's sake. But you feel like that's an insult to his memory. You know he wouldn't see it that way, but it just doesn't feel right.

So you cry. And you hide yourself away in a small nook under a workbench in the Herbology Greenhouses. And you feel bad for abandoning your family at a time like this, but you're also not sure you're ready to face them alone yet. You've so rarely been alone.

The door opens, an ancient creaking noise and the soft patter of footsteps is all you can hear. You can't even bring yourself to be defensive. You know that the war's over, but that doesn't mean you're safe. Part of you welcomes the possible threat.

But it's just Seamus.

As much as you're happy to see him, you also don't want anyone to see you like this. But you can't bring yourself to have him leave, so you snuggle into his side as he takes a seat by you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and holding you tight. You miss the days when the two of you were carefree. This war has taken so much from you.

Seamus is still there, though. He hasn't left. No matter what else this world throws at you, no matter what happens in the future, at least Seamus didn't leave you the second you fell apart. You finally look up at him, a wistful expression on your face. You're thinking about what was, what could have been. You're wondering if you'll ever be happy again and when you meet Seamus's eyes you just _break_.

It feels like an invisible hand is clenching around your heart. Your throat feels raw and you have no tears left to cry. Seamus holds you, holds your body in his strong arms as you shake with silent sobs. His arms feel so different around you than they used to. They're laced with scars and remnants of loss. It hurts you to feel the proof of the pain he's endured. But he's comforting you now. He's so strong. You envy him that.

You can't tell how long you've been sitting there. People are probably up in the castle worrying about you, but you're not ready yet.

The sun comes up, and you're still in Seamus's arms. His heartbeat is keeping you calm now, and the light of daybreak is trying to make you optimistic. He looks down at you, places a kiss on your forehead and takes your hand. Seamus helps you up, leading you out of the Greenhouse. You both need some fresh air, to stretch your legs.

Your legs feel weak under you, but they hold you up. It's reassuring. You follow Seamus to the Black Lake. The two of you just walk along its bank. This time last year, you were here for Dumbledore's funeral. You remember feeling lost at that point. But then, you still had Fred. You could never have imagined how much things had changed over the year.

You're not crying anymore. Your cheeks are still tear-stained, and your body feels numb. But Seamus holds your hand and it feels nice to have something left.

There're too many memories here. The lake, the grounds, all have a sense of déjà-vu surrounding them. A fog hangs over the earth. The Forbidden Forest is just as mysterious as it always has been. But everything's distorted. The lake is dark and the grounds are scorched and torn apart. The edge of the forest is occluded by a herd of Thestrals. You know what they symbolize. You have a feeling they're here for a reason, that they can sense the death and brokenness.

They're really quite beautiful.

 **A/N: Written for Writing Club - Character Appreciation 1: (word) Scar; Book Club – Tink: (restriction) no dialogue, (trait) loyal, (word) nook; Showtime 45: (time) Dawn; Amber's Attic – Slash 8: GeorgeSeamus (Bonus); Sophie's Shelf – Vault 22: (location) Herbology Greenhouse; Emy's Emporium – Italy 3: (trait) resilient – Italy finished bonus; Lo's Lowdown – C13: (trait) cynical; Bex's Biscuit Barrel – Hobnob: 1. (word) wistful, 3. (emotion) envy, 6. (HP) Thestral; Funfair – N: Ghost Train – Compartment 8: (weather) Fog; Seasonal – Fire Element: (word) Scorch; Gryffindor Themed Prompts – George Weasley; Hamilton Mania – Act II: 19 (word) Wistful, Optional: 24 (word) invisible; 365 Prompts – 248: (restriction) No more than 2 people in a story; July Writing Month: wc 698**


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